I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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