remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize