I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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