In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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