Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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