Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
