Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
