so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
