I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
