come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Come see our sink grown plant.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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