If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
