Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
