If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Holy shit dude........stairs
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
