i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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