Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think my fart just growled at me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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