Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
