So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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