I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sext me about skeletons
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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