Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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