you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
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Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
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I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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