You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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