Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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