Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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