You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
