I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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