I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
