she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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