I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
