You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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