Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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