nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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