Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize