Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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