i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
