He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
