you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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