Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
