she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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