the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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