Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
