how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
