sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
