I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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