Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
