hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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