She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
