Are we in a gay sports bar?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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