so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You made out with two different species that night
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
