all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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