Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
