maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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