Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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