I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
