I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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