before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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