OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
