It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize